Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Hair Envy

Yeah, I know it's been a long time since I've posted. It's a "tag-team" combo of laziness and being busy. It also doesn't help that I really have to use my brain sometimes to come up with interesting things to write about either. LOL

Today I just want to talk about hair envy. Don't try to act like you don't know what I'm talking about. We've all been there before. But here I'm not just talking about the hair envy where it's like, "oh man, I wish I had her hair", and things keep moving. I'm talking about real hair envy.

I am a member of a number of hair boards/sites. I do a lot of lurking and some posting - not as much posting as I used to. Lately I have been noticing a lot of hair envy - and not the good kind. I'm seeing sisters hate on other sisters simply for achieving length. What kind of mess is that? One discussion really sticks out in my mind: there was a discussion about one sister who had very long 4a hair and someone commented that "all that hair is unnecessary".

Really? Why? Because you can't achieve it? If she wants super long hair, then let it be. Why make that comment? It's obvious the young lady takes time to take care of her hair to achieve such length, so maybe "all that hair" is necessary for her. What is your point to make such a comment? Then for someone else to chime in and agree - it was just too much. I saw some similar actions on another hair board I visited the same day.

I mean, can somebody please shed some light on what is happening here? Is there that much hatery in the hair world that we have to go out like that? I mean, she has no chemicals in her hair - so no one can say - oh she's permed. Folks wanted to see a true natural 4a with hair longer than APL and here she is and still she gets no love because her hair is long and 100% hers - grown out of her scalp. Now if the hair had been a weave there would have been something said about that. She even got talked about because she uses heat on her hair - like blow dried & flat ironed once a month - hey that's her routine. Nobody said you have to do it. She is just sharing what works for her.

Why do we feel it necessary to be so judging about people? I mean, I'm not going to lie, I want her hair, ok? LOL Hell yes I want long, natural hair down my back, but if I can't achieve it will I go out and dis somebody who has it? Hell no. What's wrong with people? Instead of criticising and obviously hating - why don't you just do some research and get your hair game up!!!!

I'm just saying.......and because this is my blog, I can.


  1. Hey there,

    She's a follower on my blog and seems to be very sweet person and I will not participate in the nonsense. It shows jealousy and insecurity and I don't want any parts of it. I think her hair is beautiful and when she stopped by and told me about her youtube channel I immediately became a subscriber because I think she's doing a great job of information sharing.

  2. Yeah, it's a mess and I just couldn't belive the tone of some of the posters on the site. I was really disappointed with some of those sisters.

  3. Actually, I don't think anyone was hating on her hair. I guess I'll have to go back and check that thread because from what I recall someone said they wanted to see someone with 4b hair, unstretched at her length, but she said all of <--that was unnecessary, I don't think she meant all of her hair was unnecessary. Also, I think most people who say they want to see a natural with 4a BSL (or whatever) hair don't mean heat damaged hair, because obviously her hair is stretched out from the heat more than it would be if she didn't have heat training/damage.

    I think her hair is still very pretty though. But I admit, when I read the title, I didn't expect to see any heat training, or heat damage, or whatever you want to call it.

    That's just my take on things. I was peaking in after I saw your two strand twist thread since I've been thinking about twisting DD's hair, thought I'd comment.

  4. hair envy is a serious disease! I think it can be healthy when you are trying to find your own haircare, by asking questions. For instance I am a big fan of kimmaytube
    and her videos/ low manipulation hair care routine has inspired me to do more protective styles.

    So yes, I do have hair envy i.e asking questions on how I can have a better routine, general advices but I will never be mad nor hate someone because they don't have my texture or their hair is longer!!

    I also have loc envy. I loove locs ,tried them but can't commit. But I will never ever hate on someone for having long luscious locks because I know all the hard work that goes behind it!!

    Now I've also been a victim of hair envy and the girl started giving me unsolicited advice to make it more manageable and told me I used too many products that's why I achieved my current length...smh
    so silly!!

    I thought that the purpose of going natural was to stop hating on someone'else hair. It reveals insecurity.....

  5. Amen! We should be learning from people who've achieved the things we desire.